Heartbreak and Hope

This post is a very difficult one to write, hence I have been putting it off for several days. Please bear with me as I share some news which I hope will be taken with a spirit of understanding by those who read it.

For five months now, we have been waiting to hear that our adoption case had gone to court. We expected to have our court date sometime in September or early October. When September ended and news came of the Congolese immigration authority suspending the issuance of exit letters for adopted children, our concern was raised, but we still felt hope that the suspension was temporary and at some point, the two little boys we were working to bring into our family would in fact be able to come home to us. When we called in the beginning of October to find out how our process was going, we were told that because of the families stuck in DRC waiting to bring their children home, our case was put on the back burner. There was no news of how things were going for us at that time, but we were told that if we called back in a couple of weeks, there might be some more information then. So we waited, then called. What we found out was not encouraging. Some information had come to light that caused us some concern. We decided to wait and see if anything further came of our concerns. About a month later, just before Thanksgiving, we contacted our agency again to ask how our case was coming. No new information, and we were still waiting on a court date. The week before Christmas, we again called our agency, and this time we were told of further information that had come to light in regards to the boys and their eligibility to be adopted. We knew immediately that we could not in good conscience continue with the adoption process. These two little boys already had family members available to care for them, which was causing the courts to examine the situation more closely. It was clear to us that we had no business taking the boys away from a chance to remain in their birth culture and possibly with their birth family.

We were heartbroken, for we had come to care for these little boys and were so looking forward to welcoming them into our family. But we had been called to adopt children who had a need for a family, which these little ones did not. It would be risky to continue with an adoption that might be considered ineligible by the US Embassy in DRC, because it could mean a denial of immigrant visas for the boys by the US Citizenship and Immigration Services. That knowledge, combined with the situation regarding the suspension of exit letters, confirmed to us that we had no other choice but to end the adoption process.

 
If we'd had all of the necessary information at the time we were presented with these two boys, we would not have felt comfortable accepting the referral. When we shared this with our agency and asked if there was a possibility of a partial refund on the $24,000 we had paid in fees up to that point, we were told a very emphatic "No refund." We will be refunded a $1,000 post placement report deposit, since the placement did not happen.

 It is difficult to express our emotions and thoughts in the past few weeks. We trust that God has led us throughout this situation and that He does not make mistakes. He provided the funds thus far, and we offered them back to Him unreservedly, trusting in His plan. He will bless the efforts of all those who have given to help us as well.

We are not without hope or direction at this point. In fact, we are more hopeful now that we have been in months. Our direction has changed, but not our focus. We still know without a doubt that God is sovereign and that He has called us to adopt children who need a home and family. He has shown us that He has another way for us to go now.

He has made us aware of a very special little girl with a sweet spirit and a true need for the love of a family. We have been led to change to another agency, one which has a program doing special needs adoptions in China. The first time I looked at their waiting child photolisting, the face of one little girl in particular drew my attention. I opened up her page and learned of her need and immediately felt a sense of rightness. I read her information to Gilbert and showed him her pictures. He felt the same sense of peace I had. We looked at some files of other children as well, but we kept coming back to this one little girl. There was just something very special about her. Learning more about her story and how she came to be an orphan endeared her to our family even more. So, we have applied for pre-approval from China to adopt this beautiful little girl.

 

Things are not turning out like we thought they would. Life rarely does, I am learning. It is good to know that the God who created all things cares for little boys in Africa and little girls in China and mommies and daddies in America and wants them all to know His love and provision. He had all this planned all along, and He will make it into something beautiful in His time.

 

This adoption will cost $28,000, but we are already $10,000 ahead, thanks to God's provision through our fundraising efforts in the fall. All the proceeds of the benefit supper and auction, as well as the grant we have been awarded have been sitting in our adoption fund, waiting for our case to go to court. Since it never did, we still have the funds available for this new adoption. We also qualify for a $2,500 grant from our new agency, so we are almost halfway there already! Isn't God good?

 

So, we are back at square one in some ways, and miles ahead of where we were in others. Please pray with us as we make this change in direction and continue to seek to follow the Lord in all things.