Tusting God's Timing

I know it is never wise to question God's timing in anything He chooses to do. He sees the big picture and is sovereign in everything that happens--and He doesn't make mistakes. That is why I  am trusting that His timing is perfect in the news I am about to share here.

You see, just one week after my father's death, we received Travel Approval from China. That means that in just 11 days from now, we will be boarding a plane on our way to pick up our new adopted daughter.

Just typing that sentence leaves me in awe. After nearly two years of waiting, praying, hoping, and anticipating, the day has finally come and we are going to complete the process. Our plane tickets have been purchased, hotel reservations are made, all our final paperwork is signed, notarized, and waiting in a folder to go into our carry-on luggage. Arrangements have been made for the care of the children we are leaving here at home. We are trying to tie up loose ends and button down some hatches as we will be in China for two weeks. It is very busy around here right now.

Yet, in the midst of all the preparations for this life-changing trip to the other side of the world, there are moments when I wish my dad were here and that he would have been able to meet his newest grandchild when we bring her home. They will never know each other this side of heaven. That's when the trust in God's timing comes in. Though these thoughts do bring sadness, God is in control of it all and He has a plan for how all these events have fallen into place. In all the challenges and trials He has sent our way, He hasn't let us down yet. He has been completely trustworthy, and I have utter confidence that He will continue to be.

Grieving for my father at the same time we are preparing for this trip to bring home our little girl has left us a little dazed, but very, very thankful. My father was looking forward to meeting our little girl so much. It brings me sorrow to know that will not happen, but I have joy in knowing that making this trip will be honoring to his memory. Family and his grandchildren were very important to my dad, and he met the addition of each grandchild with great joy. I know this news would have brought him joy as well.

No, God never, ever makes mistakes. He knows what He is doing, even if we don't always understand why. We don't have to understand, we only have to trust and wait to see the amazing and awe-inspiring things He will do.

A Full Heart

As I rolled out of bed this morning, the sound of "Blessings" coming from my ipod speaker alarm, my heart is heavy but filled with gratefulness. I meant to write this post yesterday, but the heart-heaviness was too great to get anything that made any sense out of it. So here I am today, trying to put into words the feelings that the events of the past month have brought.

You see, my daddy died last Friday. Yesterday would have been his 80th birthday. How's that for reason for a full heart?

There is so much in this experience to be thankful to God for. I'm thankful that my father died with dignity, at home, just as he wished. I am thankful my mother and I were there with him as he took his last breath on earth. I am thankful we were able to say goodbye, and that he could say his goodbyes to us in those last few moments as well. I'm thankful for the strength of my mother and the example of devotion and love she showed in the way she cared for him in the last days (and years) of his life. Most of all, I am thankful for the gift of a father who loved me so tremendously, loved my mother so passionately, and loved his God most of all.

Again and again over the past week, I have heard people say, "He was a good man." There are so very right. Anyone who knew my dad knew his kindness, his compassion, his humility, his sense of humor, his steadiness, his quiet, unassuming strength of spirit, and his love for God and His Word. People remember his gift for working with his hands, building things and leaving a tangible legacy that will last generations. I, of course, saw all that and much, much more. I and my children are blessed with a spiritual and familial legacy which is rare and wonderful. I had the privilege of calling him Dad, something only two other people have been able to do. My children have been blessed to have the best grandpa anyone can ask for and have lost one of their best friends, biggest cheerleaders, and greatest mentors.

I am comforted and somewhat awed when I think of my sister and my little girl, and how they must have welcomed him home as he crossed into heaven and joined them there. It makes me smile to think how joyful they must have been to be reunited with one another. And it eases the pain of missing him just a tiny bit.

On Wednesday, we held a memorial service and laid my father's earthy body to rest in our family cemetery right here on our land. He is buried very near to our Olivia Hope. He was buried in an old-fashioned pine casket made from trees from his own land and sawed and built by the hands of his sons and grandsons. He had specific wishes about how the day should go, and we fulfilled every one of them. The hand built pine coffin was his idea. He chose the hymns for the service. He wanted it all to happen in one day, and he didn't want a lot of fanfare or long, drawn out soliloquys. He wanted things simple, understated, and real.

Which is exactly how he lived his life.

Yes, my heart is indeed very full. Full of gratitude, full of love, full of awe for the goodness of God in giving me the immeasurable gift of calling Marvin Burnham my Daddy.

Mixed Emotions

This has been a very eventful week for our family. We moved dramatically closer to two major, life-changing events which we have been anticipating for a while. One of these events is happy and the news we received on Monday was joyful and exciting. The joy of this news was dampened greatly, however by the other event which happened around the same time.

The first event I mention--the exciting one--is that we received our Article 5 document, which is the last piece in the adoption paper chase puzzle. It is the document in which the U.S. Consulate in China gives official approval for our little girl to receive an immigrant visa so we can bring her home to the U.S. There is just one more step in the process before going to get our new daughter--the Travel Approval or TA. Travel Approval is issued by CCCWA, and is the adoptive families official invitation to travel to China to receive their adopted child. Our agency rep has told us we should expect our TA sometime near the end of October. We may be traveling sometime in November. We're getting so close...

The other major event of this week is that my own dear father, who had spent almost two weeks in the hospital with congestive heart failure, was sent home yesterday with a plan to set up in-home hospice care. My mother and I have spent the past two days getting him settled and comfortable, figuring out his new medications, and trying to keep our heads above water emotionally speaking. To say that this has caused our family sadness is certainly an understatement. My dad has been sick for quite a while now, so it is not a surprise to any of us that we have reached this stage, but experiencing the reality of it actually taking place is difficult. We're unsure how much longer he has before the Lord takes him to heaven, but it seems as though it will not be very long...

Joy, sadness, sorrow, expectation--mingled together in a sea of emotions and sprinkled heavily with a myriad of responsibilities has made for an interesting mix, and has driven me to my knees before my God, which is right where He wants me to be right now.

Three Years Without Her

Today marks the third year anniversary of our sweet little Olivia Hope's passing. This afternoon, we held our traditional memorial balloon release in her honor. Three years ago, our lives changed forever, and for the rest of my days here on earth, I will feel like a part of me is missing.

To my precious baby girl,

I never saw your eyes open or heard your cry, but I knew you liked music because you would dance inside my womb. I never held you as you nursed, but I had one chance to touch your cool, smooth forehead to my lips. I never saw you take your first steps, but I felt your kicks and somersaults inside me as I tried to sleep. And when I no longer felt them, I knew you were gone and a part of me went away with you. I will never see you grow and mature, marry and have children of your own, but I know you are in the presence of angels at the feet of Jesus. Your name means life and hope; you have eternal life and we have the hope of seeing you again one day when God calls us home to heaven where you are.

 Mommy loves you, beautiful little Olivia Hope.

Three Little Letters

Before we started our Chinese adoption, I never would have guessed how excited I would be to hear the three little letters LOA. Yet, when on Friday we received ours, we were definitely celebrating around here. That's right, we have our LOA!!! It's been here, been signed, and been sent back to the agency, who will send it along to China. Which means, we're in the homestretch!

Next in the process is waiting (again) for the I-800 approval letter from USCIS, then Travel Approval (TA) from CCCWA. The approval from USCIS should be here within the next three weeks, and the Travel Approval letter comes very soon after that.

What's next after those steps, you ask? Why, we go to pick up our new daughter in China, of course!

We Have a LID!

In the world of Chinese adoptions, there are several capital letter combinations that have great significance. In our last post, we mentioned one of these combinations--our DIC (Dossier In China). The next, and possibly one of the most important, is the LID, which stands for Log In Date. The LID marks the date on which the CCCWA officially received our dossier and entered our information into their system. This is the date that marks the beginning of the last few steps before we receive our travel date. After the LID comes the LOA (Letter of Acceptance--the official referral making our little girl ours), which we will sign and send back to CCCWA, a copy of which will be sent to USCIS along with the I-800 request for an immigrant visa for our little girl. Very soon after that step comes the final step in the process before travelling, and the one we are waiting most anxiously for--TA (Travel Approval). As you can see, at the time of the LID, things start moving along rather quickly toward that all important TA.

Now for the good news...we heard from our adoption agency recently that our LID was June 10!

We should receive our LOA within the next three to four weeks. Yes, that's right--3 to 4!

It looks like we will be travelling sometime in late September or early October!

After all the struggles, waiting, and losses, the end is in sight. We have hope of holding our little girl in our arms in the not-too-distant future!

As a side note, I realize I have used a lot of exclamation points in this post, but with exciting news like this, I just couldn't help myself.

Please continue to pray for us as we complete this process. God has been so good in providing financially throughout this process, but we are still short about $5000. To look back and see how He has brought us the funds needed up to this point, and to know how many people have given so generously toward this adoption, we are not worried about these remaining finances. We know He will provide everything needed in His perfect time. (Remember also, if you feel led to be a part of our effort to bring our daughter home from China, you can donate through our Paypal button in the sidebar, or tax-deductible donations can be made through this link.)

We would also appreciate prayers for our little girl, that God would be preparing her heart for her new family. We have already taken some necessary steps to prepare our family for her arrival. We look forward to sharing a bit more about her once we have received our LOA--we'll even share a picture!

A Big Step Forward!

Finally, we can report some major progress being made in our adoption process! Our dossier is actually in China! By some time in the next week or so, all the documents will be translated and it will be logged in with CCCWA (China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption). This is a huge step toward bringing our little girl home!

We are also making slow but steady progress in our fundraising efforts. We completed our Both Hands project day. Watch the video below... and if you feel led to give, we are still accepting donations toward our adoption expenses.

As you can tell, we are very happy to at last have some good news to report.

Our Newest Adoption Fundraiser

Well, we're at it again--we have yet another fundraising project going on. This time, though, it is opportunity to serve a widow (actually 2 widows!) while raising funds for our adoption. To learn more about what we are doing, click here.

If you want to know more about the organization we are working with to complete this project, watch this video. It will touch your heart and hopefully persuade you to get on board.

Spring's Here!

Spring is finally here!

After a long, cold winter, we are at last seeing green bursting forth all around us. The children and I have spent much more time outside in the past few days, and it feels wonderful to be out in the sunshine and fresh air. The windows, so long shut up, have been wide open lately, letting in the breezes which are forcing out all the stale, dry air trapped in the house all winter. The birdfeeders have had a flurry of activity, providing our young homeschool students with ample opportunity for nature study.

I don't recall ever being quite this joyful--or relieved--to see springtime come as I have been this year.

Now We Wait

I am amazed at the goodness of the Lord which can be seen in every turn on life's road. We have had some busy weeks since starting the Chinese adoption process. Gathering paperwork, filling out forms, getting medical exams and police clearances, and visiting a notary public several times has kept us quite busy over the last month or so.

We have made some very encouraging progress in the adoption process (finally!). About two weeks ago, we received official pre-approval from CCCWA (China's adoption authority) to adopt a certain precious little girl! Pre-approval is great news and means that this adoption is going full steam ahead! It is the first major step in the adoption process in China.  Looks like we will have a new daughter sometime this fall!

Another big step we reached just last week was completing our home study update. What a relief to have that portion of the work in this adoption behind us. It is a very important step, because it is necessary for us to send in an updated home study with our I-800A form. This form is sent to United States Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS) to apply for approval as adoptive parents. I dropped our I-800A in the mail, along with the home study, last Saturday (March 1).

We will also need to include our home study with our dossier when the time comes.

At this point, I am quite proud of the fact that all of our dossier documents have been collected and notarized, with the exception of the I-800A approval letter. Once we have received that, our dossier will be complete and we will be ready for the next step. The I-800A approval process takes about 8-12 weeks.

So for now, we wait.

Heartbreak and Hope

This post is a very difficult one to write, hence I have been putting it off for several days. Please bear with me as I share some news which I hope will be taken with a spirit of understanding by those who read it.

For five months now, we have been waiting to hear that our adoption case had gone to court. We expected to have our court date sometime in September or early October. When September ended and news came of the Congolese immigration authority suspending the issuance of exit letters for adopted children, our concern was raised, but we still felt hope that the suspension was temporary and at some point, the two little boys we were working to bring into our family would in fact be able to come home to us. When we called in the beginning of October to find out how our process was going, we were told that because of the families stuck in DRC waiting to bring their children home, our case was put on the back burner. There was no news of how things were going for us at that time, but we were told that if we called back in a couple of weeks, there might be some more information then. So we waited, then called. What we found out was not encouraging. Some information had come to light that caused us some concern. We decided to wait and see if anything further came of our concerns. About a month later, just before Thanksgiving, we contacted our agency again to ask how our case was coming. No new information, and we were still waiting on a court date. The week before Christmas, we again called our agency, and this time we were told of further information that had come to light in regards to the boys and their eligibility to be adopted. We knew immediately that we could not in good conscience continue with the adoption process. These two little boys already had family members available to care for them, which was causing the courts to examine the situation more closely. It was clear to us that we had no business taking the boys away from a chance to remain in their birth culture and possibly with their birth family.

We were heartbroken, for we had come to care for these little boys and were so looking forward to welcoming them into our family. But we had been called to adopt children who had a need for a family, which these little ones did not. It would be risky to continue with an adoption that might be considered ineligible by the US Embassy in DRC, because it could mean a denial of immigrant visas for the boys by the US Citizenship and Immigration Services. That knowledge, combined with the situation regarding the suspension of exit letters, confirmed to us that we had no other choice but to end the adoption process.

 
If we'd had all of the necessary information at the time we were presented with these two boys, we would not have felt comfortable accepting the referral. When we shared this with our agency and asked if there was a possibility of a partial refund on the $24,000 we had paid in fees up to that point, we were told a very emphatic "No refund." We will be refunded a $1,000 post placement report deposit, since the placement did not happen.

 It is difficult to express our emotions and thoughts in the past few weeks. We trust that God has led us throughout this situation and that He does not make mistakes. He provided the funds thus far, and we offered them back to Him unreservedly, trusting in His plan. He will bless the efforts of all those who have given to help us as well.

We are not without hope or direction at this point. In fact, we are more hopeful now that we have been in months. Our direction has changed, but not our focus. We still know without a doubt that God is sovereign and that He has called us to adopt children who need a home and family. He has shown us that He has another way for us to go now.

He has made us aware of a very special little girl with a sweet spirit and a true need for the love of a family. We have been led to change to another agency, one which has a program doing special needs adoptions in China. The first time I looked at their waiting child photolisting, the face of one little girl in particular drew my attention. I opened up her page and learned of her need and immediately felt a sense of rightness. I read her information to Gilbert and showed him her pictures. He felt the same sense of peace I had. We looked at some files of other children as well, but we kept coming back to this one little girl. There was just something very special about her. Learning more about her story and how she came to be an orphan endeared her to our family even more. So, we have applied for pre-approval from China to adopt this beautiful little girl.

 

Things are not turning out like we thought they would. Life rarely does, I am learning. It is good to know that the God who created all things cares for little boys in Africa and little girls in China and mommies and daddies in America and wants them all to know His love and provision. He had all this planned all along, and He will make it into something beautiful in His time.

 

This adoption will cost $28,000, but we are already $10,000 ahead, thanks to God's provision through our fundraising efforts in the fall. All the proceeds of the benefit supper and auction, as well as the grant we have been awarded have been sitting in our adoption fund, waiting for our case to go to court. Since it never did, we still have the funds available for this new adoption. We also qualify for a $2,500 grant from our new agency, so we are almost halfway there already! Isn't God good?

 

So, we are back at square one in some ways, and miles ahead of where we were in others. Please pray with us as we make this change in direction and continue to seek to follow the Lord in all things.